Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Saying Hi via video :)

Hi All, I squeaked out a video lol :) here's the link. :)

Treatment For Jenny T

Hi, Its Jenny,
Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, I wish I could write something positive, but I cant. Unfortunately I've been down for quite sometime now, its how it goes with this disease. I haven't written in awhile as I have been getting steadily worse and have been fighting to get anything for medical care from any doctor at all concerning my throat... and all I get are dead ends and the run around still. 

Seems the more I try to help myself and others the more I deteriorate. As I had previously mentioned, I am failing fast. Now I am down to only enough energy to try to help myself. Its so very hard for me to write as my thoughts are very hard to put down as they sorta get stuck.. its the only way I can explain it. So Please bear with me. 

They are still playing around in Canada with our lives. Saying things like they are trying to keep us safe ..from a 40 plus year old procedure that helps everyone in Canada and has for some time and would help a lot of ms patients suffering a venous problem on top of having ms if they would let it.

In the mean I am.. choking on and aspirating any food or drinks I try to eat.. on a daily basis , most days now I barely eat at all.. I live on whatever supplements I can choke down that day. I really really need this surgery and I am ashamed that my country has put me in such a desperate situation, where I have no choice at all concerning my health unless it involves poisoning myself. I have no choice but to depend on the compassion of friends and strangers to help me get the treatment I need in order to live and be a functioning parent to my child.

I miss being able to sit down and eat and breathe and talk with friends. I miss being able to think and move and work and have relationships with people. I miss life so much!! I do my best with what I have, and I smile as much as I can, but as I get weaker and weaker and less hope is offered except poison to kill myself faster with, I do not want to give up and let this disease take me! 

How much closer do I need to be to my death bed before someone hears me? My voice is barely a whisper as my throat closes off and doesn't allow me to eat or breathe or speak or be normal and have a life and raise my child or do things with her instead of her caring for me and being afraid to leave me alone to go to school for fear of finding me dead upon her return. This is how I have to live. Afraid all the time. how much time do I have before tubes have to go in? Why cant I have treatment before it comes to that? 

All I have ever done is help people. I was a palliative care nurse. Why Canada? Why cant I have help too? I know they do not care that I awake in the night struggling to breathe because my throat has closed on me, and if I went to the hospital they wont even help me as there is nothing they can do except intubate me and make my already shortend life, that much shorter.

I am a person! I FEEL! I have a heart, I have hopes, dreams, wishes of a life without pain, to see my child grown up and excel and be prosperous. So far with the way things are going, these are things I will never realize.. all because my country's government is too stupid to see when they are being snowed over by a medical group that has way to much financially tied up in us to let us have quality of life. Maybe that's bitter to say, but my life is on the line would you feel? All I can say right now in my loudest whisper because that's all I have..I CANNOT WAIT ANYMORE CANADA OR I AM GOING TO DIE! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!!! PLEASE I AM BEGGING!! PLEASE I AM DESPERATE!!!!!

Hi There, 
Its me Jenny..  I Thank You So Much For Saving My Life.  
You Are Canada's Hero's.. those who do everything they can to help us ccsvi patients/ms victims keep our lives with helping us obtain healthy blood flow. Until Canada can get their heads out of the sand and determine that circulation really "IS"  important, and realize that without circulation there is no life, we are doomed with out you. I'm writing this as I do not feel I have any other course of action at this time as I am failing fast. I wont make it to the time when Canada finally decides that ms patients are worthy and deserving of healthy blood flow and quality of life. So if I do not act now, I know I wont have a chance begging for my life on my death bed. They Will just stand by and let my loved ones watch me die. Regardless that they have the power to fix the physical venous issue I suffer from that will save my life. They will with hold it at the cost of my life and others. I'm a single mom on a limited restricted income.  I have a young daughter... who is going to lose her Mom if I do not receive this treatment before its too late. Therefore, my life depends on the generosity of family, friends and strangers to help me get the medical care I need from another country, because I cant get what I need at home. I am truly humbled. When you lose your ability to swallow, you're on borrowed time. Having been a healthcare professional myself before I could no longer work in the field, I know what is coming, and what to expect. Once the tubes go in, the mortality rate is about a year... I just turned 44.. Im horrified I'll be on tubes by 45..after that ..will I even make it to 46? will there be any chance of reversal for me when and if ms patients are ever allowed this treatment in Canada? ...the likely hood.. is slim, if at all, especially if I try to wait for treatment here in Canada, I will not survive. The only way I will if  I am able to obtain this treatment as soon as I can. Our government and medical hierarchy have proven themselves and they Will just stand by and let us die as they have in the past. So despite the fact that they can save us, they just choose not too.  

Thank You, from the bottom of my heart for all your help and support. You Are Truly MY Hero's!